Readers Warning: I’m going to sound like a whiny first time parent.
I Feel horrible, just plain awful… We’re terrible parents… I mean our hearts are literally the same size as the Grinch’s!
We left our child… Don’t get me wrong…. We didn’t leave the kid in a kennel or anything. He staying with Mima and Grandpa Pete (my parents) but he’s still not with us nonetheless. He legitimately is gone.
The house is quiet, there’s no diapers to be changed, no oatmeal to be made… I’m actually not sure what to do with myself. Mom is already filling the the tub with enough bath salts to turn half the neighborhood into zombies, but I’m pretty sure I just heard her crying a little bit.
So how does this work? How long is a child allowed to sleep over someone else’s house before you actually are bad parents? I had to consult with the social worker at my school to check that it was normal to leave your seven month old for the night. She said it was OK. She also gave me this safe advise: “Kevin’s parents went to France and left him home alone and he turned out fine!” There’s a chance she also thinks there’s something wrong with me considering I went to her and had a serious sit down conversation about this situation. (Then again I’m sure she probably already thinks I’m nuts… So no big deal on hat end!)
I guess I’ll have to do my best to keep busy… Maybe even catch up on some
I guess seven and a half months isn’t old enough to get the whole Christmas thing… but you have to start somewhere right? So I started thinking about the holiday itself, not the religious meaning or where Christmas actually began, but just the perspective of a baby who is still trying to figure out the world around him.
I can literally see his little brain working… his inner thoughts are asking: “Dad, why the hell did you plant a tree inside the house?” “Hey guys, did you know that you left some colored nightlights on outside?” “Mom, you know how your always complaining that the dryer eats all the socks… well I think I found the ones you’re looking for. They’re hanging up on the fireplace!”
You spend every waking minute talking to your baby. Teaching them about life, about nature and about how things work. Then all of a sudden, Christmas comes… things are turned upside down, people change… How do you explain this to someone who still puts anything in front of them in their mouth? Where do you begin? What do you say that can spell out what is going on in their own home? The thing is… I don’t think you can… I am going to go under the assumption that the first few Christmases are about the moms and the dads and especially about the grandmas and the grandpas (sounds like a 1970s band).
I am confident that Jax is loving all the extra things lying around the house that are (to him) edible… I know over the past few years the dogs sure have enjoyed eating hundreds of decorations and ornaments. Jackson is going to have to just deal with the fact that a big fat (healthy fat we like to say) is able to break into our house and walk around freely with no consequences. “No Jax the alarm does not work on Santa.” “No Jax Santa will not burn his buttcrack on the fire.” No Jackson, Santa will not be happy if you leave him a dirty diaper.”
400 words later and I haven’t even introduced Jax to the Abominable Snowman, Hermey, Buddy the Elf, or the Wet Bandits… or the fact that we dress up Buster and Max for XMAS too. This is going to be a long Christmas break….
So I’m sitting in the house on a gorgeous day at 1130 w my sidekick. (It’s true his onsie says so). The kicker is… I’m not sure what you can do with a 2 month old?
It’s scary that my first thought was the dog park, but I guess those are only for dogs right… Would anyone object to Jax doing tummy time on the infield w a few poodles?? Can I bring him to Home Depot? Is he too young for him own wratchet set? I’m at a complete loss here.
… and it’s already a no to getting him to mow the lawn or weed the gardens. Ridiculous child labor laws.