Lessons Learned From Sports and Sons

The scoreboard said we lost our playoff game today… but I walked off that field proud of my son and my team.

This season, my son played up with the fourth graders even though he’s only in third grade. From day one, he never used that as an excuse. He just showed up… every single time. Not one missed practice. Not one late arrival. Every drill, every rep, every huddle… he gave his full effort.

He earned his spot as a starter on offense and defense. He returned kicks and he did everything we asked and more, without ever complaining. He worked hard, listened, and played with heart every single game. That’s not something you can coach… that’s just who he is.

As his coach, I saw the growth. As his dad, I saw the love for the game and for his teammates in his eyes everytime I looked at him.

The quiet confidence that comes from knowing you’ve earned it, that is not part of his game yet… so I’ll say it for him…

He belonged here this year… and he earned every second of it. When the season ended, even in that tough loss, I realized something: stats and scores don’t define a player — character does

The Tao of Jackson

My son is a little boy. He’s no longer an accessory; he is growing up and starting to develop a little personality.  He’s not just a lump on a log who poops.  He does stuff, he stands up and looks around and notices things.

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Today I came home from work and he was holding himself up just doing some work at his little table.  I walked in the door and he gave me one of those slow turn arounds where he looked upset that I was interrupting him. He smiles when he sees me, but usually can’t be bothered and gets right back to work. I picked him up and his little chubby tummy was sticking out. No onesie. Just his little boy belly under a t-shirt.  I feel like any day now I’m going to walk in the door and he’s going to be using Skype to conduct business meeting in a three-piece suit.

Why are we always wishing for time to move so quickly.  When you were six you couldn’t wait to you were ten.  When you were ten you wanted to be 16, when you were 16 you wanted to be 21… etc, etc. etc.  Steph and I are always waiting for Jax to hit the next developmental milestone.  When will he crawl, when will he walk, when can he solid foods?  But, Im not so sure I am ready for all these things just yet.  I want my little one to stay just that- LITTLE!

I feel like it was just yesterday that I was sitting in Mrs. Clarkson’s class listening to her read us the Polar Express for the first time.  I can still remember getting chills as her voice played the different roles in the story.  When did I grow up (age wise, obviously not maturity)?  I closed my eyes and I’m 35 with a wife and son.  I mean I wouldn’t change any of the stops along the way of the last 30 plus years… but I wish I hadn’t been so excited for the next “big thing” to come along.

There’s a belief in Taoism that we often move through life with our mind way ahead of us.  Sound familiar?  It does to me.  All of us face so many distractions and goals, wants and visions of what we can be or should be that we constantly are looking to the future.  We work more than we should, we compete way to much and we want to improve who we are for the future instead of improving and being in the now.  The problem with that is we are never in tune with our lives at that moment.  We are busy moving to the beat of everyone else and the world itself.  According to Tao “A Taoist lives a long healthy life, as a Taoist moves to the beat of their own subtle personal cues”.”

I guess that brings me to where I am today, enjoying this little dude growing up and the moments we have each day.  (This blog has definitely helped with that, I tend to notice and pay more attention to the little things now).  So as Jax grows up, which he inevitably will… I need to remind myself, that he will do the things he wants to do when he is ready to do them, and his mom and I should enjoy the ride!

HOWEVER… there is the issue of the UGGs.  Mommy bought him UGG boots yesterday and he was wearing them like a champ and that is right where I step in and say Tao or no Tao… He’s not going to take “personal cues” from his mommy when it comes to footwear.  I know Tom Brady wears UGGs, (which is precisely why I don’t like Tom Brady).  But either way, i still miss the days where he would be all swaddled up and would sleep in my arms.

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Before and After

Back in the day when I was a youngin’ Fall used to be about 3 things: Football, Watching Sleepy Hallow in sweat pants and doing nothing. Now We have a kid and we are expected to do parenting stuff.

Parent stuff is different than non parent stuff. I didn’t want to look at leaves last fall and I definetely don’t want to look at them this fall.  Yes I love New England, yes leaves and colors are great to look at for like five seconds… Hiking, camping, leaf peeping… Definitely all family like activities.  Before I was lucky if I could down a cup of coffee and drag my butt to the gym.  Now… no more going to the gym to work on sculpting the perfect physique, definitely just leaf peepin’ now.

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That’s not me. I’m not trying to sit still with a pair of binoculars and a .45 millimeter lens to take photos of nature.  I just want to lay down in my dark man cave in my pajamas.

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Before Jax came along things were different… Not better just different. Weekends were for laziness. They consisted of anything but activities, anything but putting on jeans and having to take a shower.

Back in the day weekends consisted of being able to compose a novel on the toilet.  I read every article of Sports Illustrated (or at least the ones that didn’t have to do with hockey). Now I’m lucky if I get to finish what I started.

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Weekends were for laziness, weekends were for cleaning out the DVR which was up to about 87% full… If I was able to mow the lawn that was a plus.  Now… Well… Now I do parent stuff. I go to fairs, I drive to grandma’s house and I go leaf peepin’. But then again, if that means I get to spend time with my little man… Get me some binoculars.

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