Dear Stephanie, for our 14th Anniversary I was supposed to buy you ivory. However, I would never want to harm an elephant or narwhal. So instead I hired a few elephants to come to the neighborhood and allow you to see and touch the real Ivory on these magnificent creatures. I planned have our children ride in on the elephants for an extra surprise.
The problem however is that the elephants became scared by that ridiculous Jeep that speeds down our road playing loud techno music everyday. The elephants went crazy and tore down trees, power lines and wires. The town is a mess, no one has power or running water. This has become a disaster of massive proportions and it’s all my fault.
The thing is… it’s only due to the enormous amount of love I have for you and our IVORY ANNIVERSARY! Do me a favor though, let’s keep this between us and we can just tell everyone I bought you a bar of IVORY Soap for our anniversary.
PS: No elephant or child was harmed in the marking of this blog post!
In all seriousness… Happy anniversary to a mom and wife who has successfully navigated work, marriage, parenting, and even more difficult… the apocalypse that has been 2020! We may be celebrating in the dark today, but they say candlelight is romantic, amirite?
Virtual learning hasn’t stopped an amazing teacher from making sure her students are OK in person, even after the school year is done. Teachers are the hardest working and most underappreciated people in the world! (I won’t reveal who this teacher is)… but know that I would want my sons in her class every year!
Day 107: July 2:
My favorite part of summer is when my kids ask for the sprinkler and then I turn on the sprinkler and then they cry hysterically if they get wet from the sprinkler and then they yell at me to turn the sprinkler back on after I turn it off.
Day 108: July 3:
It may just last the night, or maybe only an hour, but for now brothers are best friends and they’re both so excited for a slumber party!
Day 109: July 4:
We spent the Fourth super low-key and it was perfect! We are so lucky to have amazing neighbors! Best part is they actually put up with us and even better, their kids like our kids
Day 110: July 5:
What do you do after spending an entire day with your neighbors? You wake up and spend the entire next day with them on their water slide! My kids would choose this water slide over anything!
Day 111: July 6:
Last night I tucked my Oliver in, kissed him goodnight and he hugged me and said “goodbye daddy.” So, I guess I won’t be sleeping until he moves out.
Day 112: July 7:
Things I have tried during Covid Quarantine to ensure better sleep:
–threats to call Santa
–earlier bed time
–later bed time
–threats of violence against stuffed animals
Times either of my children have slept through the night as a result:
Day 113: July 8:
He thought I wouldn’t dunk on him… let alone actually dunk HIM!
Day 114: July 9:
We made it to Cape Cod. I have not taken a REAL vacation in years. This was the first time I actually tried to shut down from work in ages (granted I didn’t do so well considering I conducted virtual teacher interviews from the beach and also called hundreds of families about our distance learning survey), but that’s me… I love what I do… and I don’t ever take a break from it!
Day 115: July 10:
This is what family vacation is all about. Forget Corona, forget quarantine and hand sanitizer. Family vacations are all about getting a KING SIZE BED for mom and dad and having the kids sleep in it. Relinquishing an amazingly comfortable mattress and 1000 count Egyptian cotton sheets for a pull out sofa bed is parenting at its finest!
Day 116: July 11
The family… sans masks… sans tears… just happy to be out of the GD house!
Day 117: July 12:
Screw you CORONA! We still livin’ our best life!
Puffy said it best:
“Don’t push us, cause we’re close to the, edge We’re tryin’, not to lose our heads, a-hah hah hah hah…
get the feeling sometime, that make me wonder Why you wanna take us under Why you wanna take us under
I get the feeling sometime, that make me wonder Why you wanna take us under Why you wanna take us under
Can’t nobody take my pride Uh-uh, uh-uh Can’t nobody hold me down, ohh no I got to keep on movin’…”
Day 118: July 13:
If there is a picture that represents our lives in 2020 this is it! All dressed up for a family photo with designer masks! #CapeCodCorona2020
Day 119: July 14:
We are home from the Cape and we spent some time just relaxing today. This quarantine thing has been stressful, scary, unpredictable, calm, insane, all of the above… but most of all, it has been a time to just reconnect with each other. Today we did just that. The boys and I took Buster and Max for a walk. No electronics, no phones, just us. It was as close to perfect as you can get… we were just missing mom.
Day 120: July 15:
Parenting books never prepared me for how much time I’d spend arguing for my kids to get into and then out of the bathtub.
Day 121: July 16:
15 years ago she (Stephanie) said “Yes.” Then we quickly got in line on the Wildwood boardwalk for the Half Blood Prince midnight book release. I read the book all night in the hotel lobby and finished it in the morning on the beach! Such a memorable day… and still… After All This Time, I’m Sirius-ly happy to still be Making Magic with you Stephanie, You’re a Keeper and there is no one else in the world I’d rather be quarantined with than you!
Day 121: July 17:
We’ve been in quarantine for 121 days and my six year old has been talking nonstop for 150 of them!
Day 122: July 18
We’ve tried everything as parents to keep our boys engaged in educational activities, but it’s mid July now… we put together a schedule for the boys to give them some structure during the summer quarantine and I think other parents might find it helpful:
7am-7pm: Unsupervised screentime, with periodic snack time.
Day 123: July 19:
Don’t underestimate a child’s ability to grasp what’s happening right now. I’ve discussed the pandemic and social distancing with both boys. I figured Jax would get it and for the most part he does, but I was surprised how informed Oliver was. He really gets it. He’s now decided to speak 3 inches from my face instead of the normal 1 inch.
Day 124: July 20:
Today while we were out practicing some mask wearing to build up tolerance for Oliver a women with no mask on her or her children screamed at us to take off our masks because were falling for the “hoax.” I won’t put my response here in writing… but WTF?!???
I just don’t get it. The people who refuse to wear a mask they’re almost like those last couple of leaves on the tree right before winter hits. They are so proud of themselves. They must be so excited sitting on the tree thinking we’re definitely gonna make it, we’re gonna make it. That is until all your friends are gone and you’re the last one hanging on for dear life.
Day 125: July 21:
Today while listening to our secretary of education speak about re-opening schools full-time in person, I realized that she has a bookshelf with no books on it. Listening to this woman speak about re-opening schools is like listening to my three-year-old try to explain how to play chess… in Latin. 🙄
Day 126: July 22:
You would think with two dogs and two toddlers one of them would be the first to ruin the new patio…
If you put your money on that you definitely lost. In the category of 2020 just keeps getting worse… I spilled an entire canister of melted citronella wax all over the patio today.
Day 127: July 23:
Today we, painted pictures, went in the pool, completed two puzzles, cooked dinner together and watched a movie. Or, as the boys described it to mommy when she got home from work:
“Buster and Max peed on the floor and dad yelled at us two times.”
Day 128: July 24
The boys are so used to staying in the house that they think pants are just optional at this point. God forbid I tell them we need to actually wear said pants when it’s time to go out…
Day 129: July 25:
Just heard from downstairs:
Jax: “Oliver USE YOUR FORCEFIELD…”
Oliver: “ OWWWWWWWWWWWW!” Followed by screaming…
Day 130: July 26:
Today, I decided to take the filter and pump apart to clean it, since the water was a bit cloudy the past week.
After dissembling the filter… I am pretty sure I discovered where Coronavirus started.
Day 131: July 27:
Today while playing with his stuffed animals Jax told me he wants to be a dad one day.
My response: “Have you seen the shit I put up with?!!??”
Day 132: July 28:
Jackson complained this morning because his breakfast was not ready fr him when he came downstairs. I told him to be sure to leave his negative review on Yelp! and also, I don’t care!
Day 133: July 29:
My legs are in the best shape since I was running track in college. I think I have an idea for an exercise video for parents where all the lunges are just going around the house picking up juice box straws and wrappers.
Day July 30:
Steph is at work and I had a two hour meeting this afternoon that was extremely important about reopening the schools. Jackson and Oliver had to fend for themselves the entire time and they didn’t fight once in the playroom.
I heard them talking and giggling I couldn’t figure out what they were doing. They didn’t pick up their iPads or put the TV on once. When I was done they told me to come out of my office bc they had a surprise for me.
And when your two kids ask you to sit for a tea part (with wine glasses for the adult) you sit together the tea party.
Day: July 31:
… the end of the fourth month brings us right back where we were four-plus months ago, the same place almost every parent is in… what do we do with our kids… our children… our babies…
We keep coming back to baseball. For some reason it’s like the glue that holds this blog together. It’s the glue that has helped bond my family together from Pop to Oliver. Through this Covid-19 pandemic all we have wanted was sports to get our nation back to cheering for something and unite most of us in hating the Red Sox.
Up until today Major League Baseball wasn’t a thing. It started and stopped and started again (and stopped again in the top of the 6th inning… not because of Covid, but because of baseball’s arch memos is: RAIN. BUT, that did not stop us from celebrating opening day… in… July! Opening day is more than just games starting, it (usually signals that warmer weather is near and fathers and sons can start playing catch again.
To that point, giving your son his first baseball glove is something that needs to be celebrated.
The history of baseball is passed on from generation to generation. My grandfather passed it on to me and I’ll pass it on to my sons. I was Phil Rizzuto turning double plays and Rickey Henderson robbing homeruns over Pop’s Boxwood Hedges.
Getting your first glove is a rite of passage. I still have the glove Pop bought me. I remember going to the store to buy it with him. I remember breaking it in and the smell of the leather. I blogged about buying Jax his first glove a couple of years ago and now it is Oliver’s turn.
While Jax is devolving into a pretty decent switch hitter who throws lefty, Oliver is just learning the basics, but seems to have the right handed swing and also throws righty like his dad. Playing catch is beginning to actually “happen” now. Both Jax and Oliver enjoy it and Oliver now, with his very own glove is definitely more interested, even it means he’s purposely throwing a ball in the woods, laughing about it and then spending 10 minutes trying to find it… over and over and over again!
Being able to now be out there with both my sons, all with our baseball gloves on… there’s just something magical about it. The ball going back and forth between us… no words need to be spoken, although neither of my children usually go more than thirty seconds without talking… again just like dad). But, just the popping of the glove…. like an invisible string connecting us. That’s what makes it magic. In the end that’s what baseball does, it connects us with our past, with each other… and right now it’s connected Oliver to his big brother and dad!
I often imagined the sort of family vacations I’d have when and if I was ever lucky enough to become a father. They were based on the trips I took as a young boy, whether it be to the Cape with my parents or Wildwood with my grandparents, I imagined walking along the beach with my children and finding seashells and maybe even taking the tramcar up and down the boardwalk. It would be peaceful and quiet, my wife and I hand in hand, my children smiling and taking in the beautiful ocean views.
Well, since those days, I’ve become a husband to a beautiful woman and have two fantastic children. We’ve been away together, both to the cape and wildwood, we’ve flown to Aruba and been to a friends house in FL. We’ve been away quite a bit and it’s always so amazing, but this year… we’ll…
We decided to stay in a beautiful historic resort… the kids were in awe when we pulled up, “dad are staying in a castle!!??” It seemed so perfect. What could possibly go wrong?
For one thing, the resort was surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean and has three pools… sounds great until you realize that my youngest would rather eat vegetables than go near water, which wouldn’t have been a problem if my other son wasn’t such an avid water-sport enthusiast, hurling himself into any pool or lake with all the foresight of a Labrador going after a stick, leaving his younger brother in tears far behind on land.
There’s always the beach though, right? Mom and dad decided to take the clan to a boat launch that would take us across the Atlantic and over to a beautiful island for the day. We’re all packed up and it takes us ten minutes to get everything out of the car (coolers, beach bags slung over our shoulders and chairs being dragged out of the trunk). We are finally get everybody ready, but of course everyone now needs to go to the bathroom. After what seems like hours and hundreds of pounds of supplies we finally walk down to the pier only to see the captain untieing his boat from the dock tie and Capt Crunch tells us he’s sorry but he’s not doing any more boat trips today.
Yes we called ahead. Yes, we stopped at the store first to make a reservation, yes the woman at the desk gave me the address for the boat and yes she told me that it runs all day and night. Yet, somehow after got down to the pier got unpacked walked all the way down to the pier with two kids and 40 bags and the guy said he’s not doing any more trips today.
So through tears we drag the kids back to the car after failing our oldest who’s body has now become Gumby like. He apparently has wanted to go on a boat his, “entire life”, since he “was like three.” We have now become enemies number 1 and 2. After what seems like all the tears in both their bodies had run their course we finally get back to the hotel l. We then start the process over and get completely packed up to walk down to the private beach at the hotel… we have all our NEW bags packed up and even Oliver is happily making his way down.
We take two steps out of the hotel and Jackson informs us he has to freaking POOP! On a dime we stop, turn face and start walking into the hotel, both silent, afraid the other might snap! Father and son get all the way into the hotel and son informs dad he doesn’t need to go to the bathroom anymore, and now wants to use this opportunity to tell me all about how he doesn’t want to go to the beach anymore.
This can’t get any worse right? As Jax and I are getting ready to walk out Steph and Oliver walk back inside because Oliver has to take a crap now. It’s now 2:00pm, we left the house at 10:00am to go to the beach and we still haven’t gotten to any beach, no sand, no water… nothing. Just toilets and tears. (Eventually we made it to the beach, although according to Staph, the prime sun had already passed us by). 🙄
Luckily there was enough peanut butter bagels and apple juice for the boys and more than enough sun for mom. While the whole trip seemed like the plot of a movie staring Clark Griswold, there’s always enough fun and laughs to keep things interesting.
I still vividly remember the trips to Wildwood with Nan and Pop and would consider then some of the best times of my life. I’m confident that Jax and Ollie will always remember the feeling of family and love on their trips they take with us. I guess you could say whether it be a National Lampoon style vacation or not, having time away with family is the best kind of vacation. .
But guess what? Maybe one day Jax will claim to vividly recall this family vacation and say,. “Remember the summer when you wouldn’t let us go on a boat!???” Maybe, sighing nostalgically on his own yacht, he’ll tell us it was, “the best summer vacation he’d ever had!”
Dear Stephanie, let’s get married and have kids so instead of spending quarantine binging Netflix we can tape balloons to our car and drive by some six year old’s house and sing happy birthday from six feet away.
Day 77: Tuesday, June 2:
I’m regretting panic buying $100 worth Of LEGO’s to end up with two kids ignoring them and instead playing with cardboard Amazon Prime boxes and a Tupperware lid for the last few hours.
This quarantine thing is intense!
Wife: “You should never question my choices, because you’re one of them.” Me: “That’s exactly why I question your choices.” _ Wife: “Good point!”
Day 78: Wednesday: June 3
The world is still fighting over toilet paper and today my son decides to give our few rolls left a bath…
Day 79: Thursday, June 4:
How do you keep two kids busy while you conduct Zoom Meetings all day? Give them a vacuum, a few baby wipes and put them to work!
Day 80: Friday, June 5:
What do you do when you can’t go out for pizza and you have ZERO DESIRE to cook… you put the kids to work!
Day 81: Saturday, June 6:
Today I got to catch up with good friends to celebrate one of their 40th birthdays. Interesting enough, Jax used to remind me to take my keys, wallet and cell phone… today he said, “Dad don’t forget your mask and Purell!”
Day 82: Sunday, June 7:
FOLKS… WE GOT SOME BIG NEWS HERE… OUR FIRST LOOSE TOOTH! This kid is growing up too fast! Bring on adulthood!
Day 83: Monday, June 8:
Today we attempting an early morning walk before work and virtual school started.
7:30am: leave house
7:32am: stop because Jax is so hot and “needs a sip of water”
7:36am: stop for rocks
7:37am: stop to pick flowers (that are actually weeds)
7:39am: now Oliver’s cold
7:40am: stop for sticks
7:42am: go home because both boys are really, really tired.
45 total steps logged.
Day 84: Tuesday, June 9:
Happy birthday to the only person who isn’t on Social Media. To my not so little brother! We’ve come a long way from me almost getting you eaten by a snake in the backyard when we were kids! Jax and Ollie couldn’t ask for a better uncle!
Day 85: Wednesday, June 10:
I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday present than spending the day with my family! It was our first family outing and first time out to dinner in MONTHS!
Day 86: Thursday, June 11:
Hard to imagine how my kids were ever able to survive a regular school days without 23 snacks.
Day 87: Friday, June 12:
Today Jackson had his VIRTUAL FIELD DAY!
Field Day VIA a computer might have been the most frustrating aspect of Distance Learning. My kids would rather watch the timer in the corner of the screen on the zoom conference than actually participate in virtual field day. Jax has now asked 16,000 times when this is over because he wants to go inside already!
PS: Do they give college scholarships for balloon dribbling?!?? Jax had a record of 30 before the balloon popped. What does that count as? Forget it… This has now turned into a way for me to feel athletic again! As a matter fact I’m playing the Rocky theme right now and shoving the kids to the ground!
Day 88: Saturday, June 13:
My two little Dirt Devils/Beach Bums! There’s nothing like burying yourself in the sand as kid!
Day 89: Sunday, June 14:
During quarantine I’ve been slowly working on a project that I had wanted to do for ages. I figured the perfect time was now! In between Zoom meetings and distance learning (and you know life) I decided to build a high back sofa/bar table for the basement. Mind you I’m lucky to come away with ten fingers after using a pencil sharpener. so this was quite the challenge. But, table saws, circular saws, hacksaws and vice clamps be damned, because it came out pretty good.
Day 90: Monday, June 15:
The tooth has fallen out (been pulled out). All packed up in an envelope with a note. That Tooth fairy better start looking for some spare change!
PS: Yes the first tooth only yielded a dollar and a pack of baseball cards, but remember the tooth-fairy is a nonprofit…. she’s on unemployed from her other “paying” job bc of Covid-19, so with that being said, “you get what you get and you don’t get upset!!!”
Day 90: Tuesday, June 16:
You want to wear a cut off tank top and rain boots up the street on your power wheels while carrying garden tools? Sure, at this point at least you have on pants.
PS: Today I learned my children can fix a squeaky wheel with hand held garden tools. Don’t ask!
Day 91: Wednesday, June 17:
The last day of Kindergarten also meant the last day of Distance Learning (for now). What a crazy, crazy cRAzY school year it was for this little guy! Mom and I are so incredibly proud of you and your accomplishments!
Day 92: Thursday, June 18
Today, after putting on my mask in the Big Y parking lot, I looked in the rear view mirror… I realized this is what my ears look like with a face-mask on:
Day 93: Friday, June 19
Can we just not with the screen time reports this week?
Love, mom and dad
Day 94: Saturday. June 20
Pre-Father’s Day Father’s Day Party: my wife, the boy’s mom planned a party for today…. my response to that… Thank you. This was perfect. I actually for once enjoyed myself. I did just enough cleaning, organizing and cooking, etc to keep sane.
Stephanie, I don’t know if you noticed but I actually went in the pool. That’s a big deal. We may argue and butt heads. But, If there’s anyone who is going to be by my side for all the nonsense that is me and what comes with it… I wouldn’t want anyone by my side but you.
Day 95: Sunday, June 21:
Father’s Day is always perfect when spent with the family, especially my two superheros!
Day 96: Monday, June 22:
My wife buys our kids a lot of kinetic sand, play-dough and painting supplies for someone who wants to stay married.
Day 97: Tuesday, June 23:
Today was my first official day I have taken “off” from work since Christmas Break. It was nice to spend some quiet time without the phone/emails for a little while. The boys and I went to the beach (mom was stuck in the office!!!)
With the tide out we were able to walk out almost to the top of the jetty! Nobody fell in (more importantly no one pushed anyone in!)
Day 98: Wednesday, June 24:
Today was a LOOOOOONG DAYYYYYY! Coordinating chrome book and iPad drop off at school for all the amazing students who borrowed devices during distance learning will take a lot of a guy! But, coming home to these two smiling little boys (SCREAMING, “DAAAAADDDDDIEEEESSSSSSS HOMMMMEEEEE!!!!” Will always help being a long day of to a happy close!
Day 99: Thursday, June 25:
My day today… on a Zoom Call with my assistant principal while working from home:
Assistant Principal: “Would you be able to…”
… my two kids run by the camera: one wielding a sword, one naked, both in ski masks and capes…
Assistant Principal: “Never mind.”
Day 100: Friday, June 26:
ONE-HUNDRED-FREAKING-DAYS-OF-QUARANTINE. It’s been 100 days since schools across the nation began distance learning and the quarantine began. As we mark that significant number in this global pandemic not much has changed. Cases are still spiking, masks are required almost everywhere
Day 101: Saturday, June 27:
Roman, our newest little nephew, was baptized today. It was nice celebrating with family for the first time in long time. We also learned Jax is a pretty good photographer!
Day 102: Sunday, June 28:
Heard the wife yelling this from the other room earlier: “STOP DOING THAT!!! WE CAN NOT GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM DURING A PANDEMIC!”
Day 103: Monday, June 29:
We’ve officially lost it here. No school for the kids, rain outside and Oliver wants his 14th M&M yogurt of the day. I have to draw the line somewhere. 13 M&M yogurts before noon is acceptable, but when you try for 14 you have gone too far. Sorry little man, but that temper tantrum is going to have to last a lot longer than…. forget just eat another damn yogurt!
Day 104: Tuesday, June 30:
What a way to end the month. I came home to Jackson narrating a live video of Oliver playing with his Magic Trax! Apparently he’s started his own YouTube channel. Best part, he signed off by saying, “Thanks for watching. Don’t forget to like and subscribe!!!
I guess that takes us into month four… hello July!
PS: Thanks for reading. Don’t forget to like and subscribe! 😂😂😂
As parents, Steph and I are so unbelievably nervous about who let babysit our boys. We view babysitting our children, though as a scary gig. You’d think these two amazing little boys are easy to hang out with… truth is, it’s not all a bed of roses.
A good babysitter is hard to find especially during this CORONAVIRUS nonsense. The great thing is, we have more than a baby sitter. We have a teacher, someone who loves our kids and most importantly someone who can deal with the craziness of this family!!!
Miss Missa makes both our boys (and us) feel safe. Whether they are out at the “playground,” as they call it or just playing in the house, we trust her and that’s saying something.
There is a quote somewhere out there in the inter webs that says something along the lines of, “There is no one more thankful than a parent who relies on childcare for work or personal reasons.” You can’t say it better. We entrust our most important part of our lives, our most valuable and most loved part of our lives to someone other than “us.”
That’s saying something. Teachers are one thing. But allowing someone in your own house to be with your children… that’s another. I’m not an easy sell… I know child development and how to engage primary aged children. How ever, I also know the importance of the social/emotional connections as well.
The peace of mind for a parent knowing that their child or children are in capable, loving, responsible hands while they are away at work or play is priceless. Find thank you cards, send a hot air balloon or smoke signals… because Miss Missa is a life saver.
As I sit here and contemplate the words that are needed to wish you the happiest of happy birthdays during this unbelievably unprecedented time we are living in right now, I am struggling to even come up with a way to start. How do we explain to a six year old that he can’t be with his friends, or go somewhere for a birthday party? That’s what 2020 is for you at this point… an everlasting, unexplainable time that you have somehow become accustomed to.
So I guess this is where we start. During a time that even grown ups can’t understand or handle. Yet, you, a six year old, have handled it with humor and confidence. You ask questions and want to learn what is going on. That’s who you are. That’s who you’ve become these last six years. From the little boy who brought joy and happiness to everyone around him to the six year old… not so little boy who brings joy and happiness to everyone around him even in the darkest of times.
I enjoy being around you more than you know (yes you drive me insane sometimes but then again I had a hand in creating you! I never realized how annoying I could be until I created a miniature version of myself and started arguing with it daily). Yet, even in those times I never stop loving you. Your mom and I will never stop loving you.
Tonight, as we readied you for bed as a five year old one more time, you called us back to your room fourteen-million times. You just wanted is to lay with you and talk. You apologized for keeping us up so late, but wanted us to know you were just being a “chatterbox” tonight. How do we stay mad at you when you come up with things like that?!??
What has stood out to me the most in this past year is how you have taken your little brother under your wing. I’ve written about how you love him, but recently you have become a mentor, the way an older brother should. Today I listened in as you taught him how to play bingo and smiled as he just threw the balls across the table, not once did you lose your patience with him. That’s a lie, you lost it a few times, but never gave up hope that he’d get it in the end (he didn’t).
While we have been distance learning/ homeschooling you have been teaching Oliver how to hold a pencil, how to do reading centers and most importantly have been a shoulder for him to cry on when he is upset. You share with him and always tell him you love him.
The last month and a half has defined the year 2020 so far. The CoronaVirus will forever be tied to your kindergarten school year and your sixth birthday, but it will never define you. You are creative, passionate and caring. You want to do things for others and recognize that something as simple as making a heart out of red construction paper to hang on our window makes other people smile. You are stronger than any virus, hell you’re stronger than me in many ways too.
I love the big boy you have become, but wish you could slow down growing up so fast. This family is lucky to have such a loving little boy, who’s smile lights up a room and who’s laugh can brighten even the darkest of days.
Happy QUARENTINED Birthday, Jackson. We all love you very much!
“It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.” -Albus Dumbledore
Distance learning has its benefits and it’s downfalls. Being home everyday, while also being almost completely unavailable is the perfect definition of what I mean.
BENIFIT: Being able to help potty train your three year old.
DOWNFALL: Being able to help potty train your three year old.
We’ve had many trials and tribulations with the whole potty training thing with everyone in this house. Hell… the dogs are still strategically placing landmines all over the house. We’re a clean up crew around here.
But then there are days that make the landmines all with it…
Oliver walked calmly over to Mom and said he needed to go potty. It was a clear potty training win. People all over the house, from far and wide screamed, danced and bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
Amazing right… Fast forward a few hours…
I was summoned by the screams of an almost six year old… “Dad, Oliver is POOPING!!!” The same child that hours earlier had calmly walked inside and properly asked to use the restroom to do his business, now smiled, half hidden behind the coffee table.
Potty training… The highs are so high, but let me tell you the lows are so low (and messy, as well).
Every so often I’m lucky enough to come across someone as nuts as I am and even more rare is someone who is willing to admit it. Allison Berlin is a great friend who has an interesting way of recording her children’s life events, so I asked her to write a guest blog to share her story with everyone…
On a recent weekend when pigs flew and 3 couples escaped together, kidless, to the mountains of Vermont, I shared an email with Peter that I had written to my 3 year old. Once he stopped laughing at said email, I explained the story of how and why I first started emailing my young kids, and he asked if I would share that story here.
When I was pregnant with our first son, my mother in law shared with me the journal that she kept when she was pregnant. I was immediately inspired – she wrote such thoughtful entries about her feelings as a new mom and current events. The entries were incredibly entertaining to read up on 30+ years later – a real-time look back to Reagan’s election and my father in law’s trip to the library to research the family’s first VHS player (seriously).
The day we found out we had a little boy on the way, I bought a journal, left it on the coffee table as an invitation for anyone to contribute, and vowed I would have something similar to give my son and his family to look back on. I was diligent – I wrote often, with my feet propped up, exactly the way a naive first time pregnant mom would. I passed that journal on to grandparents and my husband, prodding them to share their thoughts with their future grandson / son.
Fast forward to this new mom drinking coffee standing up at the kitchen counter, stuffing some semblance of food into my face to sustain any energy possible. With an actual live baby to now take care of, it became increasingly clear how little time I would have for those uninterrupted sessions of reflective journal writing. So I did what any (borderline) millennial would do – I made a new vow to continue the written journal up to his first birthday, then turned digital. I created an email address for my son that would allow me to jot down a quick message or send a photo “to him” on the fly. Stuck in a boring meeting at work? Shoot your 1 year old a funny picture from the night before with a note about a fun bath time (and maybe some life advice to find a job in his future that will not result in endless, boring meetings). Now this I could do.
My boys are now 5 and 3. They each have a written journal to account for their first 12 months (and admittedly a bit beyond, as my mother in law has not made the digital jump and continues to write) … and an email address that has kept up with them for the remaining years. I started these emails to give them the memories (and let’s be honest, maybe exactly the content they’ll need for future therapy sessions). Though, every so often, I take a look back at the emails I’ve sent these boys and realize they’re a small gift to myself.
Some subject lines along have the ability to elicit those mom tears of time moving entirely too fast: “Brudder,” followed 1 1/2 years later by “Brudder no more.” An account of my love of our youngest solely referring to his brother as “Budder”, and the sadness when he inevitably learned his actual name.
Others remind me that what you think is so trying at the time, truly is just a phase. You know – those times that prompt people to remind you, “this too shall pass”, while you smile kindly back, though make a mental note that this person is clearly deranged. “Is this a test?”: A quite lengthy letter to my youngest, wherein I find myself pleading with a young child’s email to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SLEEP for at least a few hours at a time!!!
Then there are some of my personal favorites – the ones that contain those little moments of life that are so easily forgotten, but oh so precious.”Mustard”: Conveying my son’s deep (if not sincerely confusing) love for mustard, accompanied with a picture of him eating, you guessed it, straight up mustard.”Your dad”: A moment in time when my husband was setting out to really wow, and inspired an email detailing why these boys should set husband / dad aspirations to their dad’s level.”Top bunk”: Because seriously, who knew how happy a surprise bunk bed at our vacation rental could make a kid.
Lastly, not to be forgotten… “Wobbly pants”: The email I shared with Peter that inspired this guest post, as he realized I had written a summary of my son’s love of skin tight pants (and relative hatred for what he refers to as “wobbly pants”, also referred to as simply “pants” by the rest of human kind).
It is these look backs that make me keep going and remind me how to answer the question of, “why the heck do you email your children?”. I picture them with their own babies on the way, gifting them this treasure trove of emails from their youth where they will find memories of wobbly pants and mustard alongside annual Christmas summaries. Then I remember I’ll be doing the same. I fast forward to a time when quick meals with kids running under foot are a faint memory. I’ll be all too aware of how fast time moves. Though I know I will have gifted myself these same distinct memories – and man, do I know those mom tears will be flowing.
A huge thank you to Allison as I am reviving the Chronicles Guest Blog Series, where we will “attempt” to show off some other authors and their thoughts on parenting, children and life.